A Happening
Today, I accidentally walked into the residential part of 41 Park Avenue trying to get to my new dentist. I tried to walk in behind this oldish (I'd say 60 or so, but who knows? Everyone who lives in Manhattan has had work done) woman who was carrying two bags. I'm generally pretty sensitive to the elderly, the disabled, the pregnant (the people for whom I have to give up my seat on the B54), but I wasn't just then. She must have been having some difficulty with the door, because she opened it about halfway and said, "Are you going to help me or not?" So, whereas normally I would have happily helped, I grumblingly thought This is what happens when you have a doorman your entire life, you have to make other people do things for you when clearly you're strong enough to do it at least halfway yourself. But I opened the door (duh) and helped her in.
Then, when I found out I was in the wrong place, I turned to walk out behind a youngish (again, who the hell knows?) man. The doorman (clearly not into doing his job) calls out behind us, "Hold the door for the lady!" And generally, having doors opened for me, chairs pulled out for me, seats given up, cigarettes lit, etc., etc., etc. by men, these things don't bother me and I don't think about the gender binary when they happen. I rather like it. But to have someone point it out and say, "It's a woman, and so she's weaker, so you better make sure you open the door because she sure as hell can't hold it open herself) changes the situation a little and ticks me off. So, the guy, who was clearly in a bit of hurry, held the door for me and then bumped into me since we were walking in opposite directions, and I thought, That would have been less of a hassle if he had just passed the door off to me like we were two humans, and not held it open like he was an adult and I was a child.
And then, as I walked over to the dentist, I thought, Why the hell can't we all just open our own damned doors? I know, I know. That's how capitalism happens. But sometimes I don't mind capitalism, particularly when it means not having to figure out weird social dynamics in the doorway of a building I didn't even mean to go into in the first place.
Then, when I found out I was in the wrong place, I turned to walk out behind a youngish (again, who the hell knows?) man. The doorman (clearly not into doing his job) calls out behind us, "Hold the door for the lady!" And generally, having doors opened for me, chairs pulled out for me, seats given up, cigarettes lit, etc., etc., etc. by men, these things don't bother me and I don't think about the gender binary when they happen. I rather like it. But to have someone point it out and say, "It's a woman, and so she's weaker, so you better make sure you open the door because she sure as hell can't hold it open herself) changes the situation a little and ticks me off. So, the guy, who was clearly in a bit of hurry, held the door for me and then bumped into me since we were walking in opposite directions, and I thought, That would have been less of a hassle if he had just passed the door off to me like we were two humans, and not held it open like he was an adult and I was a child.
And then, as I walked over to the dentist, I thought, Why the hell can't we all just open our own damned doors? I know, I know. That's how capitalism happens. But sometimes I don't mind capitalism, particularly when it means not having to figure out weird social dynamics in the doorway of a building I didn't even mean to go into in the first place.
location: Brooklyn, NY
mood: 
exhausted
exhausted